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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848546">Not Broken Beyond Repair</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahunter8056/pseuds/ahunter8056'>ahunter8056</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>When Darkness Comes I'll Light the Night with Stars [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), The Last of Us (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adaptation of cutscene, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bridges the gap between the dance cutscene and the trying to forgive Joel cutscene, Crossover, Ellie's best bud comes back to catch up and offer advice, F/F, Just dialogue, Missing Scene, Night of Jackson dance, No Action, Sequel to the crossover that no one wanted, Something is wrong with Ellie and Joel and who is going to fix it?, Swearing, and by missing I mean it totally didn't happen outside of this series, but apparently some people wanted more</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahunter8056/pseuds/ahunter8056</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to my previous story in my series of The Last of Us/Doctor Who crossovers.</p><p>Five years after that fateful day in which she met the Doctor, Ellie finds herself watching Dina dance in Jackson's church hall. After the night descends into emotional turmoil, Ellie catches sight of an old friend. The reunion turns far more introspective than Ellie intended. Is it finally time to start trying to forgive Joel?</p><p>An adaptation of the Jackson Dance cutscene from The Last of Us Part II, followed by an entirely new scene that bridges the gap between the two cutscenes from that night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie &amp; Joel (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>When Darkness Comes I'll Light the Night with Stars [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jackson Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello all!</p><p>If you're returning to read more following my previous story (I Don't Belong Right Here), then welcome back, and thank you! If you've clicked on this story because it caught your eye and you haven't read the mentioned previous story, then I'd recommend reading that one first.</p><p>This chapter is an adaptation of the Jackson Dance cutscene from The Last of Us Part II, which can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzH1j2oWHW4</p><p>This is my first time writing any kind of romance, so I really hope it doesn't suck. Not my forte, but given it's one of the most important parts of the cutscene, there was no way I could gloss over it.</p><p>I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>Tw: homophobic slur</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From her place leant against the wooden counter of the bar, Ellie stood watching the throng of people flail their sweaty bodies about as the folk ballad continued to flow into her ears from the live performance, the cool glass of whiskey held firmly in her hand.</p><p> </p><p>It was always a pleasant atmosphere whenever the town held these merry gatherings at the church hall. Young couples, old couples, young children and their parents alike, all having a good time. Not that the young woman standing by her lonesome knew much of such things. She didn’t usually attend these events; dancing wasn’t really her thing. Whether it was that she simply chose not to (as she would desperately claim when called out on it), or because she had two left feet (perhaps closer to the truth) in addition to her gangly limbs, Ellie Williams was not a frequent guest at these occasions.</p><p> </p><p>But for now, Ellie could not deny that she was having a nice time, silently observing the gathered crowd in the packed wooden hall, admiring the music as the soothing feminine voice and instruments kept her relaxed. But the music wasn’t the only thing she was admiring.</p><p> </p><p>Right now, Ellie’s eyes were firmly fixed on her best friend, Dina, as she danced with a young man. He wasn’t her type, but she supposed he was probably handsome. All the same, she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to be in his place, held close by Dina and dancing frenetically around the other couples, hand clasped against the soft palm of her best friend, the two of them so close she could gaze into those soft brown eyes that she had found herself lost in on dozens of occasions.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie was snapped out of her daydream at the sight of a familiar head of brown hair walk by in the distance across the opposite side of the big church. Hair gelled to stick up, the skinny man wearing a long brown overcoat that swished along the wooden floorboards.</p><p> </p><p>But it couldn’t be him. It had been five years since that fateful day when she and Joel had encountered the Doctor. Tensions had almost reached breaking point that day, but cooler heads had prevailed. By the end of the scant few hours they had spent together, she could say that she’d count the Doctor as a friend. Not only had they immediately bonded over their shared love for converse and comic books, but the man who claimed to be a Time Lord <em>(whatever the fuck one of those were, she had never asked)</em>, had helped her and Joel out immensely with their bigger on the inside backpacks. They’d certainly come in handy on the rest of the journey and the subsequent years in Jackson.</p><p> </p><p>Before she could investigate any further, the silhouette disappeared behind a couple dancing. When the pair had moved on, that distinctive brown hair and long overcoat were nowhere to be seen.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie looked into her glass of amber liquid, trying to look for any sign that something else had been slipped into it without her knowledge. ‘<em>How fucking strong is this whiskey?</em>’ she wondered. Writing the hallucination (because that was the only sane possibility) off as a side effect of not managing her drink as expertly as she thought she had been doing, Ellie sighed and sipped her drink, the alcohol burning her throat pleasantly as it slid down. She leaned back, resting her left elbow back against the bar countertop. She bobbed her head subtly in time to the music. The motion worked to calm herself back down from her elevated heart rate, the soft music also helping. She scanned the room again, hoping to catch sight of Dina. There she saw her, still dancing with the same young man. ‘<em>Typical Dina’</em>, Ellie thought. Not even broken up with her on-again, off-again boyfriend a week, and here she was, flirting.</p><p> </p><p>Even from this distance, Ellie could see the sheen of sweat on her best friend’s skin, her neck glistening under the bright lights strung up all around the church hall. With her dark hair tied back in a bun, a tight maroon sweater tucked into her blue jeans, Dina looked gorgeous.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie took another sip of her whiskey to calm her mind threatening to spill into the gutter. She watched as the young man spun Dina around, catching sight of the smile on her face before throwing her head back in laughter at something the man had said. Ellie bobbed her head to try to distract herself from the fact that it wasn’t <em>her</em> making her best friend laugh. When that didn’t work, she bowed her head, deciding that the floor looked infinitely more interesting than watching her best friend dance with someone else.</p><p> </p><p>Fortunately, she was distracted by someone sidling up beside her. She looked up to see the familiar form of her other best friend, Jesse, lean back to stand next to her against the bar.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie sighed quietly and shifted around uncomfortably, straightening up before instantly leaning back again. ‘<em>Fuck, this is gonna be awkward’</em>, she thought. Jesse was one of her best friends, sure. But the fact that he and Dina were constantly breaking up, getting back together, breaking up again, etc, it always served as a nagging point of contention in the back of her mind. Given that she was so close to both Jesse and Dina, she always caught both sides. Honestly, she felt like a child of divorce at times, caught between two parents who couldn’t decide if they wanted to stay together or split up, bouncing between the two. <em>‘Eww, did I really just think of Dina as my mom?’</em> Ellie thought disgustedly to herself, dismissing the thought of ever making that comparison ever again.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate these things,” Jesse spoke without looking at Ellie. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him wave his glass out to the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie crossed her arms, holding her glass close to her chest. A short puff of air escaped her lips as they curved into a smile. “Tell me about it.”</p><p> </p><p>She noticed Jesse look over to her with a smile of camaraderie, out to the crowd and then back to her again, his shaggy dark hair bouncing against his forehead. “Your old man really laid into me today.”</p><p> </p><p>The mention of Joel instantly made Ellie feel uncomfortable. She pursed her lips, casting her head down to the floor with a frown. She took a second to school her face back into a neutral expression before looking up again. “What happened?” she asked before looking over to Jesse when she was confident she could look at him without giving away her inner conflict.</p><p> </p><p>“Another big lecture about my patrols. ‘Don’t go here. ‘Don’t go there.’” Ellie turned to look back at the crowd, anger rising inside her towards Joel. Jesse’s voice started up again before it could really take a hold. “Funny how involved he gets whenever you’re scheduled to go out.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie cocked her head and opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Eventually she settled on a quiet “Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Unable to keep her features neutral, she sucked in her cheeks, looking back down to the <em>really </em>interesting looking floorboards.</p><p> </p><p>Jesse had clearly sensed her awkwardness, having learned long ago how to read her whenever she was feeling ill at ease. Ellie had never been so glad for him to change the subject. “She’s uh,” Jesse nodded towards the crowd, towards one dancing couple in particular. Ellie’s eyes fell once again upon Dina. “Putting on quite the show.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie watched as Dina’s dance partner dipped her to the ground, one of her boot-covered feet planted firmly on the ground while the other was up in the air, both arms outstretched above her head. The audience clapped with the conclusion of the folk ballad, Dina wiping the sweat from her brow with her forearm as her partner helped her back up. Even from across the room, Ellie’s keen ears homed in on Dina’s laughter, as though it was the clearest sound in the crowded hall.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie turned to look at Jesse, noticing that his eyes never strayed from Dina. “I give you guys two weeks until you’re back together.” Her lips were parted in a small smile, relieved to have something to talk about to get her mind off Joel.</p><p> </p><p>Jesse glanced at her, shooting her the tiniest upturn of the corners of his mouth. “Not gonna happen.” Both then looked back out at the crowded dance floor. Both pairs of eyes instinctively fell back on Dina, as though the woman was a magnet. As the single strand of brown hair swung in front of Ellie’s vision with her head movement, she noticed Jesse look back at her briefly, somewhat tentatively. “She uh, say something to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie snorted lightly with a tiny shake of her head before turning back to Jesse with a hint of a smile on her lips. “Make it one week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ellie!” the voice of delight cut through their conversation. She turned to see Dina striding towards them through the parted crowd. She was momentarily stunned as her best friend sauntered closer towards her, the sheen of sweat even more visible the closer she got under the bright lights. “Hey!” That one gasped word made it clear just how out of breath Dina was from dancing. Ellie was too transfixed to speak as Dina reached her, choosing instead to keep watching the smiling face of her best friend. “What took you so long?”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie didn’t complain as Dina grabbed her glass from her hand, draining it all in a single gulp. “Well I’m here, aren’t I?”</p><p> </p><p>Jesse raised his glass towards Dina in way of greeting. “Dina,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Dina placed Ellie’s glass back on the bar top with a thud before turning to her Asian ex. “Jesse,” she mimicked with a less than friendly undertone. She grabbed Ellie’s hand and began to tug her away. “C’mon.” Ellie’s legs obeyed immediately, having decided long ago that she’d go whether Dina wanted her to.</p><p> </p><p>As Dina led her to the dance floor, Ellie couldn’t help but think how uncalled for Dina’s dismissal of Jesse was.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, don’t forget we’re headin’ out early, so get some rest!” Jesse called from behind them. As the two girls turned to look back at him, Ellie noticed how tense his frown was after his ex-girlfriend’s unkind rebuke. ‘<em>Poor guy,’</em>, she thought.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie watched as Dina raised her flat palm to her head, placing it sideways against her forehead before giving him a mock salute. “Yes sir!” She also didn’t miss the way Dina rolled her eyes dramatically in exasperation.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re such a dick,” Ellie whispered as Dina brought them to a stop, having found an empty spot for them to dance in.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on.” Dina gave her that familiar sweet smile, and Ellie found it impossible to stay mad at her. “Don’t you start with me.” Dina placed a hand on Ellie’s tattooed right forearm, guiding her hand to her hip. Ellie instinctively reached her other arm around Dina’s waist to connect them, while she felt Dina reach around and connected her arms behind her neck. She watched Dina’s expression suddenly turn serious. “Okay, I have a very serious question for you.” Dina looked to her own underarm and then back to Ellie. “How bad do I smell?”</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, any lingering tension in the air immediately evaporated. The two friends smiled at each other, Ellie noticed the dark sweat patches dotted around Dina’s sweater, holding Dina’s playful grin with a smile of her own. She leaned into closer towards her friend’s underarm, taking a deliberately audible whiff. Ellie leaned back again. “Like a,” she stretched the syllables out while trying to think of a witty retort, “hot pile of garbage.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Okay,” Dina replied, an undertone of mock hurt in her voice. Before she could move from out of the space, Ellie felt Dina lean in and rub her sweaty cheek against Ellie’s. As she grimaced, Ellie could practically feel the self-satisfied cheeky grin on her friend’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh!” Ellie protested in half-hearted disgust, which was completely undermined by her involuntary chuckles that followed.</p><p> </p><p>“How about that?” Dina teased with a smug grin that told Ellie how proud of herself she was.</p><p> </p><p>“Gross,” Ellie said softly, her lips parting into a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“You love it.” And Dina’s confident words rung true. As gross and unpleasant as having her best friend’s sweat rubbed over her face was, it didn’t matter. What really mattered to Ellie was the fact that she was standing so exceedingly close to the woman she called her best friend, the woman she pined over. The woman whose arms were looped firmly around the back of her neck, and whose hips were currently being held in her own tender grip.</p><p> </p><p>As she felt Dina bury her face in her shoulder, Ellie quickly grew very aware of the several pairs of eyes currently on them all around the room. As her and Dina began to slow dance, with a particular emphasis on slow, her self-consciousness began to skyrocket. What was suddenly so fascinating about them two in particular? Was it her? Was it Dina? Ellie already knew she’d been laughably underdressed for the occasion, with a simple nondescript grey t-shirt and her faded blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up. ‘Casual’ seemed like an understatement, especially given that she was in such close proximity to someone who was perfectly dressed for the occasion. But Ellie hadn’t expected to dance tonight. And certainly not with the most popular girl in town.</p><p> </p><p>And that’s when it clicked in her mind. They weren’t staring at her. They were staring at Dina. Ellie’s eyes continued to nervously dart back and forth across the room, Dina seemingly not noticing the now dozens of eyes boring a hole into the back of her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Every guy in this room is staring at you right now,” Ellie spoke, unable to bear to ignore the elephant in the room a moment longer.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe they’re staring at you,” came the soothing murmur of Dina’s voice into her ear.</p><p> </p><p>To say Ellie was unprepared for that possibility was an understatement. Her mouth was open, frozen in shock as her mind calculated the absurd idea. Most of the time she appreciated Dina’s humour. But usually it was obvious in her tone. But the words she’d just spoken sounded so genuine, as though it was a serious suggestion. <em>‘There’s no way that could be true,’</em> Ellie thought with a gentle shake of her head. Nobody could possibly ever look at her twice with Dina in the room.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie let out a brief, quiet humourless laugh that would be silent to anyone except Dina. “They’re not.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe they’re jealous of you,” Dina’s silky voice spoke in her ear again, this time slightly louder. Ellie couldn’t help but notice the assertion in her tone, as though she was trying to persuade her to believe. Honestly, Dina would have a better chance of convincing her that dinosaurs weren’t the fucking coolest thing ever. But what was there to be jealous of? Dina wasn’t hers. Dina was straight. And even if she wasn’t, there’s no way she could ever be a potential candidate. Dina was out of her league.</p><p> </p><p>A frown creased Ellie’s eyebrows. Dina’s teasing might have been good natured, but it was really beginning to bother her. She had to say something to set her friend straight.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m…” Ellie started, trying to think of the best way to articulate herself without sounding like too much of a loser. “…just a girl. Not a threat.”</p><p> </p><p>They swayed for another beat, before Dina pulled back, entrancing Ellie in her big brown eyes. She reached up and tucked the stray strand of brown hair behind Ellie’s ear before looking more intensely at Ellie, who was in danger of losing herself in Dina’s tender gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Ellie…” Dina sighed, cocking her head to the side with a flutter of her eyes. “I think they should be terrified of you.” Her words were spoken with a loving whisper that made Ellie acutely aware of how intimately close their faces were, even as Dina began to lean closer.</p><p> </p><p><em>‘Why is she doing that-?’ </em>Ellie wondered. Before she could formulate a coherent response, Dina’s lips were on hers, Dina’s cheekbone squishing her nose to the side. The tender elongated peck was over before it really began, the two breaking and glancing into each other’s eyes to test the waters. As though they had developed a telepathic connection, both of them leaned back into a far more intimate kiss at the same time, mutually agreeing that this was a very good idea, and they both needed more.</p><p> </p><p>Tongues clashed and slipped inside as the kiss became heated, developing into a long, loving smooch as the two women continued to make out and melt into each other’s mouth. Every one of Ellie’s senses were on fire, her whole body reacting to Dina’s electric touch. She’d never felt more alive than she felt in that moment. It felt so right, so much so that her insecurities were banned from the party raging inside her mind. For now, for this one moment, she could forget everything that wasn’t the fact that her best friend, the woman she desired and had crushed on for so long, was kissing the fuck out of her right now.</p><p> </p><p>The two broke for air, Dina pulling back, yet placing her hands firmly on Ellie’s shoulders and looking deeply into her eyes to make it clear that it wasn’t any form of rejection or regret. Dina’s body language communicated that she’d made her point: Ellie most certainly was a threat.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie couldn’t keep the ecstatic grin off her face even if she wanted to. With how she felt in that moment, the corners of her mouth might remain firmly upturned forever. And she’d be perfectly fine with that. Everything suddenly felt right with the world, feeling that all her dreams had come true at once.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” a voice called out. Ellie looked over Dina’s shoulder to see Seth, the grey-haired ageing cook walking moodily towards them, a disapproving scowl on his face. He was a miserable bastard even at the best of times. Though what he wanted with them, she couldn’t say. “This is a family event,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie and Dina shared humour-filled grins at the ridiculously unnecessary reminder. <em>‘Only reason he’s mad is because he can’t get any himself,’</em> Ellie thought.</p><p> </p><p>Dina snorted. “Sorry,” she glanced at Seth before turning back to look lovingly at Ellie again. Ellie continued to look at Seth, her lips beginning to settle back towards neutral thanks to the miserable old man killing the mood. Dina had clearly noticed the transition on her face, looking back at Seth just in time to see his scowl deepen, looking more like a snarl. “Sorry!” she exclaimed, far more earnestly this time without even a hint of a chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie heard Dina scoff, seeing her roll her eyes as she felt her friend grab her hand and start leading her away. <em>‘Smart,’</em> Ellie thought of Dina’s actions. Even Ellie knew how hot-headed she could be at times, and Seth’s behaviour had already started to grate on her nerves.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember next time there’s kids around,” Seth called out to their retreating backs.</p><p> </p><p>As Ellie stared back at Seth, she heard Dina scoff. “Yeah, like you’re setting such a great example,” Dina retorted, annoyed sarcasm coating her tone. Her friend’s words were enough to break Ellie’s staring contest with Seth. Dina’s defiance caused Ellie to look over at her, an impressed expression spreading across her face. Whereas Seth’s reprimand might have caused some people to apologise and squirm away without a word, Ellie had always admired the fact that Dina had always refused to take shit from anybody. It was one of the many things that had drawn them together.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, just what this town needs,” Seth called back, sarcasm clear in his tone. His voice was quieter given the fact that they had walked further away across the room, but it was still perfectly clear to their ears. Especially the disgusting words which followed. “Another loud-mouthed dyke.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie froze in her steps, anger injected into her veins. In a split second, she’d gone from slightly annoyed, to so furious she was seconds away from punching the miserable old bastard’s lights out. No one had the right to speak to Dina like that. Especially as she saw Dina’s expression change from irritated to an appalled frown. No one.</p><p> </p><p>She felt Dina try to tug her back as she whirled round and advanced towards Seth, but it was no use. Nobody was going to stop her from giving the asshole a piece of her mind. “What the fuck did you just say?” Ellie demanded, raising her voice at the same time she raised her arm to jab a finger threatening at Seth.</p><p> </p><p>Dina slipped around her to place herself between Ellie and Seth. “Ellie!” she spoke firmly to get her attention. Even as she continued to stare at Seth with disdain, Ellie could feel Dina gently trying to push her back in an effort to get her to back down. “Ellie, don’t!”</p><p> </p><p>Even her friend wasn’t enough to stop Ellie in her place, but someone else was. “Hey!” a gruff voice shouted from her left. Ellie watched as Joel came from the side, shoving Seth back forcefully. “Get the hell outta here,” Ellie heard Joel warn.</p><p> </p><p>“Get your hands off me,” Seth fired back. The two men squared up, neither one backing down. Both were naturally tall men, more or less the same height, but Ellie knew that Joel had the firm advantage. Seth had spent years in the Tipsy Bison’s kitchen, while Joel had spent decades as a ruthless, murderous thug.</p><p> </p><p>The tense blanket of silence that had suddenly fallen over the church hall was palpable. The music had stopped playing, everyone had paused their conversations to watch the confrontation. The painfully awkward atmosphere was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was waiting to see if a fight would break out, and Ellie knew that was certainly a possibility.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” a feminine, yet firm voice sounded, and Ellie watched as Maria – the leader of the town and Joel’s sister-in-law – came between the two men, physically pushing them apart. “Enough,” she commanded, the one word having enough authority behind it for both men to acquiesce.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie noticed Tommy – Maria’s husband and Joel’s brother – come into view at his wife’s side, a hand gripping Seth’s elbow roughly.</p><p> </p><p>Seemingly satisfied that Joel wasn’t about to throw hands, Maria turned away from her brother-in-law and began trying to guide Seth towards the exit, Tommy offering a helping hand. “Come on you,” Ellie heard Maria say to Seth. On the surface it didn’t sound harsh, but Ellie had been around her pseudo aunt long enough to detect the disapproving undertone. “Let’s go for a walk.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about them?” Seth demanded as he shot Ellie and Dina a dirty look.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie saw Maria and Tommy both start to tug on Seth clothing more roughly, clearly exasperated with his behaviour and wanting nothing more than to remove him from the premises. “You worry about yourself,” Maria hissed, anger creeping into her tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get you some fresh air,” Tommy added as he accompanied his wife and Seth towards the exit.</p><p> </p><p>Still thoroughly pissed off, yet understanding that the situation had been dealt with, Ellie started to turn away, walking towards Dina who had since walked off to the side to stand alone. The downcast expression of her best friend spoke volumes. Ellie needed to make sure she was okay, because seeing Dina upset was pissing her off even more. As if Seth’s homophobic slur wasn’t bad enough, fucking Joel had to get involved even a year after she’d cut him out of her life.</p><p> </p><p>As she turned, she registered Joel turning with her out of the corner of her eye. The immediate heavy footsteps behind her confirmed it, and she turned back to see Joel looking at her in concern. How fucking dare he!</p><p> </p><p>“You alright kiddo--?” Joel asked.</p><p> </p><p>“What is wrong with you?” Ellie cut him off. She glared at him, the anger that had started to extinguish reigniting itself. Her voice wasn’t especially raised in volume, but it radiated disdain.</p><p> </p><p>Joel held her gaze for a second, before shifting uncomfortably. “He had no right-“</p><p> </p><p>“And you do?” Ellie snapped with a growl in her voice, gesturing to him with an outstretched palm. She looked daggers at him for a few seconds, her body bristling with animosity. She didn’t miss the hurt in his eyes at her behaviour, but it had been a year since she’d felt anything but bitterness and confliction towards Joel for what he’d done. She raised her arm to the side to chest level, cutting through the air to emphasise her words. “I don’t need your fucking help, Joel,” she spat, her words laced with venom. Her body was leaned forward in an aggressive stance, giving him the message to fuck right off.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie watched as the man she used to think of as a father figure darted his saddened eyes uncomfortably around the still quiet hall, clearly mulling over his possible next steps. His eyes dropped to the floor, and she could see how tired he looked. Lines creasing his brow that hadn’t been as prominent, unquestionably grey hair longer than she’d seen before, thick in a way that told her it was a lack of care on physical appearance rather than a conscious choice. It had been a long time since they’d really seen each other, and he didn’t look like the Joel she used to know.</p><p> </p><p>In years past, she was sure he would have fired back with equal anger. But his expression and body language told her that he had no fight left in him when it came to her, as though he deserved her harsh treatment.</p><p> </p><p>Joel looked back up at her, barely concealed emotional pain etched on his face. “Right,” he murmured dejectedly quiet, before turning and making his way outside.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie was left watching the retreating back of his beaten-up brown leather jacket, realising just how outgrown and messy the hair on the back of his head was.</p><p> </p><p>Anger began to immediately drain from her body, the glare on her face softening to a frown. Ellie’s guilt threatened to overcome her, stabbing her in the heart like a very painful form of acupuncture. It was then that she realised she’d gone too far, acutely aware of how humbled and humiliated she felt thanks to her own behaviour, as her eyes darted around in embarrassed discomfort. As upset as she had been for a long time with Joel, he had only been trying to help and protect her. Disgraceful as his actions undoubtedly were in the past, Seth was the villain here, not him. An unmitigated tide of shame washed over her, the urge to put things right beginning to nag in the back of her mind, trying to push itself to the fore. But she was far too stubborn to listen to that voice in her head.</p><p> </p><p>Before she could let herself fall into the bottomless pit of self-loathing and despair, Ellie recognised a familiar face watching her from across the room. There was no way she was hallucinating him now, the entire confrontation with Seth and then Joel sobering her up. Hair unmistakably lathered up with hair gel, a brown overcoat, and brown eyes looking like they were staring right into her soul, the Doctor was watching her from the opposite end of the large church hall. They locked gazes for a single second before the mysterious man turned and walked out the door into the dark, snowy night.</p><p> </p><p>With the commotion over with, sound had returned to the hall. Couples began moving back to the dance floor, presenting an obstacle if Ellie wanted to catch up. And she absolutely needed to, desiring to do nothing else in that moment. She began striding with purpose towards the exit, ignoring Dina calling her name behind her. It barely registered; all that was important to her right now was catching up to the man who must have returned for a reason.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie pushed her way through the throng of people, ducking to avoid a flailing arm of an inebriated man trying (and failing) to dance smoothly.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually she made it to the exit, pushing the door open and embracing winter’s chill as she stepped out into the bitterly cold night air. Flakes of snow began to coat her hair, but that wouldn’t slow her down. She had a Time Lord to catch.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Fiery Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie finally reunites with the Doctor. After catching up, tensions rise between the two when Joel is brought up. What does the Doctor make of the events at Salt Lake?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi all!</p><p>Sorry this chapter took so long. Life intervened, but here it is! </p><p>Please enjoy, and I hope to see you all in the end notes. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Snow crunched underneath her boots as she looked around desperately. After catching a glimpse of the Doctor – the man she’d met once five years ago but had made such an impression on her – she had followed him out into the chilly night air. Yet just like his TARDIS, he seemed to have disappeared in a matter of moments, nowhere to be found as she scanned the immediate area. A ghost of an echo, of a time that felt so long ago.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie shivered in the bitter cold of the winter night, relieved she had the sense to grab her coat on her way out. She put it on, wrapping the dark green material around her, a shield against the frosty breeze, before resuming her search.</p><p> </p><p>Surveying both ends of the street revealed nothing, just the same ordinary street exactly the way it always was. No blue box in sight. Had she imagined him? He had looked so real across the large hall. The way in which his piercing brown eyes met hers, there was no way that was a hallucination.</p><p> </p><p>Just as she was about to give up hope and head back inside to check on Dina, Ellie felt the sudden urge to check further along. Her sneakers cut a swathe through the freshly fallen snow, thankful that at least the recent snowfall had been cleared from the path. Practicality over comfort was never a high on the young woman’s priorities. She rounded the corner, and that’s when she was rewarded. Her mouth curled upwards into a gleeful smile at what she saw. Muted somewhat thanks to the emotional turmoil of the evening, but still too strong to deny.</p><p> </p><p>Leaning against that fantastical blue box which she’d dreamt about and recreated in her journal many a time over the years, looking exactly the same as he had done on the fateful day five years ago, was the Doctor.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Ellie called out somewhat awkwardly. ‘<em>How do you greet someone you met once five years ago, yet left such an indelible impression?’</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Hello Ellie,” he responded. It wasn’t the same chirpy tone she remembered, but it was soft enough to tell her just how genuinely pleased he was to see her again.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t look as though he’d aged a day. <em>‘How is that possible?’</em> The same familiar long brown overcoat was keeping him warm, his hair more or less the same length and style, though it was now dotted with snowflakes. His body was just as skinny as she remembered. However, there was one thing that was different.</p><p> </p><p>“You changed your clothes,” Ellie pointed out, gesturing to the fact that he was wearing a blue shirt underneath his overcoat and brown pinstriped suit, instead of the white shirt he had worn that sunny day. Not to mention his tie was of a different colour and design.</p><p> </p><p>A wry grin slowly started spreading across his face. “So have you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie couldn’t fight the quiet chuckle that demanded release even if she wanted to. It didn’t matter what mood the confrontation with Joel had put her in, her old friend was proving to cheer her up just as effectively as he had when she was fourteen. “I did more than that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I can see that.” He paused for a moment to look up and down her lanky form, swallowing down his shock at the woman she’d become. “Goodness, how you’ve grown.”</p><p> </p><p>A short silence fell over them, filling Ellie with anxious dread. The Doctor had been there to witness the entire debacle in the church hall. A relationship publicly in tatters between her and Joel was sure to raise the question of why. The last thing she wanted after a fresh confrontation reopened that old wound - haemorrhaging emotions like blood - was to explain it. She’d much rather sew it shut once more and go back to forgetting it had ever existed.</p><p> </p><p>“Ellie-“ he started before she immediately cut him off, the panic overtaking any inclination to hear him out.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here?” Ellie interrupted abruptly. She didn’t intend on being so brusque, but the nervousness in the pit of her stomach was practically doing backflips. The urge to squirm in place was deeply instilled, desperate to avoid the obvious oncoming questions she really did not want to answer.</p><p> </p><p>Not expecting the bitter edge to her tone, the Doctor opened his mouth before snapping it shut again, lost for words as his brow furrowed in concern. It didn’t take long for him to think on his feet, regathering his wits with a softer quality to his voice. “I just thought I’d pop back and see how my mates are getting on.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie grunted in response, not fully certain if she believed that. Instead of immediately responding, she decided it would be a better use of her time to look down and drag her shoe across the snow, fidgeting in place. <em>‘Fucking Joel, why did he have to interfere?’</em></p><p> </p><p>“Ellie, I know you’ve had a bad night,” the Doctor started, walking over to her with a kindly expression tinting his features. His presence beside her calmed her enough to stop her nervous fidgeting, and she looked at him. It was then that the difference between them in the years since they met were blindingly apparent. At that time, Ellie had barely come up to chest level, having to look up to him quite literally. Now though, they were face-to-face. “But that’s when you need people most.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie laughed humourlessly, a sad smile both on her lips and shining in her green eyes. “You saw all that, huh?”</p><p> </p><p> “I did.” The Doctor nodded, a solemn expression on his face, one that betrayed his concern for the young woman. “But the question I have is…”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, bracing herself for the oncoming questioning regarding Joel. <em>What went wrong? Why did you yell at him when he was only trying to help? Why don’t you go and fix things? What the fuck is wrong with you?</em></p><p> </p><p>“What have you been up to since I saw you last?” Ellie was taken aback at the entirely different question than she had assumed was coming, the upbeat tone of his voice jarring. But he was clearly throwing her a lifeline, and of course she was going to grasp it with both hands. “And how did you end up here?” He looked around the cosy town, covered in a blanket of snow.</p><p> </p><p>The beaming smile on his face told her how much he approved of the place she’d chosen to settle down in. Not surprising though, given that when they met, she’d had no home as such, travelling across the country with Joel and spending each day fighting off infected and hunters to survive another day. It had certainly been strange to adjust to at first when her and Joel had come to settle down at Jackson, but she certainly hadn’t complained.</p><p> </p><p>“I…” she started, snapping her mouth open and shut a couple of times to recuperate from the unexpectedly pleasant tone of conversation. She should have known better than to expect judgement from the eccentric man who claimed to be an alien. Instead, her frown slowly transformed into a small smile, genuinely pleased to have met her old friend again.</p><p> </p><p>Taking a cautious look around, Ellie checked that the two of them were alone. With everyone either at the dance or tucked up nice and warm inside their homes, it was unlikely for anyone to come by and overhear their conversation at this time of night.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so you know how me and Joel were travelling across the country in search of the Fireflies…”</p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The next hour was spent with the two old friends catching up in the snow, the bitterly cold night air unable to snuff out the flame of friendship. Ellie told the Doctor about how her and Joel had eventually managed to find the Fireflies. The supposed cure she would be able to provide hadn’t worked out, and so her and Joel had eventually come to settle down here in Jackson, the town run by Joel’s brother Tommy and his wife, Maria. That had been five years ago, and she couldn’t have asked for a better place to grow up and find herself as a woman, than right here. She of course left out any references to the enmity between her and the man who’d brought her here.</p><p> </p><p>The jovial catch-up gave her brain enough of a break from reflecting on her behaviour and bitterness towards Joel, the confrontation now pushed to the back of her mind.</p><p> </p><p>What also helped was the Doctor regaling her with tales of his adventures throughout time and space, of trips to Mars and fighting off metallic giants he called Cybermen. She could scarcely believe such a thing was a lifestyle. As much as she deeply desired to go with him, to fulfil her life-long dream of blasting off into space, she knew there was no way that would be an offer he would ever make her. Not that she blamed him. The thought of unwittingly carrying infection across to ruin another version of Earth was abhorrent, and she’d never allow it to come to pass.</p><p> </p><p>Besides that, she couldn’t leave now. Not after Dina had kissed her. With something she had yearned for, for such a long time, finally becoming reality, she needed to see where it went. Speaking of…</p><p> </p><p>“I saw you’ve got someone special in your life now,” the Doctor teased, a grin stretching across his face.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie suddenly felt uncharacteristically shy, the urge to shrink in on herself too strong to ignore. “No,” she shook her head. “That’s just Dina being Dina.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you so sure?” The Doctor asked, looking far more serious than he did a moment ago. “Because from what I saw, I wouldn’t be so quick to write it off.” His grin returned and he nudged Ellie with his elbow. “Go on. Find time to talk to her about it, ‘cos you might be surprised.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe,” she shrugged while looking down at her shoes bashfully, still unable to fully accept the idea that Dina wanted her. There was far more chance of her piloting a rocket to the moon tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>By the time she looked up, she noticed that the Doctor had a far more sombre expression on his face. And the idea she had as to why gave her an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.</p><p> </p><p>“Ellie, tell me. What was all that between you and Joel?”</p><p> </p><p>Right then and there, any good mood she’d garnered from their conversation immediately turned sour. “I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about me and Dina?” she snapped. She didn’t want to talk about Joel at the best of times, let alone after their confrontation earlier in the night had left her feeling so emotionally raw.</p><p> </p><p>“Ellie-“</p><p> </p><p>“No, tell me again about the time you towed your Earth back home,“ Ellie desperately tried to deflect, as though he hadn’t just told her that story ten minutes ago. “Or the time you stopped your own people from destroying the entire fucking universe.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think this is something you need to talk about,” he gently insisted. As pushy as he was being, Ellie didn’t miss the concern shining in his eyes, genuine worry creasing his brow. But the way she was feeling, she didn’t much care.</p><p> </p><p>“No Doctor!” she shouted, hands shaking with fury by her sides. She then ran a hand through her hair, messing up the tidy bun. “Fuck, Joel is the last thing I want to talk about right now. All you need to know is that we’re done, and we have been for a long time. Guy’s an asshole, and I don’t need people in my life who lie to me, or-or make decisions for me.” The emotion invaded her voice, turning it shaky and stuttering as she scrambled to explain how she felt. Words had never been her strong suit, it was always actions that spoke louder to her.</p><p> </p><p>“’Scuse me if I’m speaking out of turn, but it looked to me like he cares about you,” the Doctor said. In any other tone, his words could be misconstrued as confrontational or condescending, but he managed to toe the line between tough love and impartial suggestion effortlessly.</p><p> </p><p>“And what the fuck do you know?” she spat with enough venom to make a snake proud. “You fucked off the day we met! You don’t come back for five years, and now you want me to tell you everything, which by the way, is none of your goddamn business?” By the end of her outburst, she was practically shaking with anger, her features screwed up in a particularly nasty glare.</p><p> </p><p>A chasm of silence yawned open between them, space coming both metaphorically and literally. Ellie’s furious breaths came ragged with frustration, while the Doctor had been completely taken aback, his eyebrows threatening to shoot up into the sky with his stunned expression. He clearly hadn’t expected that. ‘<em>Good,’</em> Ellie thought scornfully to herself, fury clouding her judgement. Right now, she was perfectly happy to dump all of her negative emotions on the Doctor right now, too consumed by rage to stop herself, if she stopped to realise what an asshole she was being.</p><p> </p><p>She turned and began walking away, when she was stopped by his voice. “Ellie,” she turned and saw a thin smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re obviously hurting, which means that maybe, just maybe, it’s time to let go.” He lifted up a placating hand as soon as she opened her mouth. For whatever reason, she trusted him enough to hear him out, closing it again. “Now, it seems to me that this is so small a town that everyone knows everyone, which means there’s no one you can really talk to about this. And that’s assuming it’s completely unrelated to your immunity, which I would think is something you’d keep a secret in a world like this. Am I right?” He snapped his jaw shut with an audible clunk of his teeth, the look he was staring Ellie down with betraying just how confident he felt with his guesswork. As it turned out, he wasn’t far off at all.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie just stared unblinkingly at him. Anger began to seep away, silently in awe at how perceptible he was. She was ready to say something else to deflect, anything to avoid talking about her feelings. But something stopped her. There was a tiny part of her telling her to open up, that maybe it would be okay to confide in the Doctor. He spoke the truth; he was the only person in the entire multiverse that she could tell. If she stayed silent now and he left again, what if she was left with regret for words unsaid, feelings left unexplored outside of her own stubborn mind? No matter how uncomfortable she was with delving into the vault of feelings she normally kept firmly locked away, there was that nagging voice in the back of her mind, whispering to her brain that it was something she needed to work through for her own sake. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Dina’s.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Ellie breathed out a long sigh, the puffs of her breath misting in front of her face. “Okay,” she muttered with a subtle nod, so soft that she forced herself to meet the Doctor’s gaze to see if he had heard her. Perhaps she had been quiet enough to give herself an out. But it was clear that he had heard her, a firm stare patiently waiting for her to proceed. <em>‘So much for running away like a fucking coward again,’</em> Ellie chastised herself.</p><p> </p><p>She began to fiddle with her hands, the action working to ground herself as she began thinking of how to explain the situation best. As much as she had her own strong bias against Joel, she was smart enough to know that the only way this would work is if she explained it as it was, rather than how she felt. That was the only way to ensure she would be met with pure honesty. She knew Joel was entirely in the wrong, that he should have left her there. So why did she still feel so conflicted about him? Why could she never settle on one rock solid emotion, always swinging back and forth like a pendulum? It was easy to bring out the bitterness when she was struggling with it. But that didn’t mean it was the only emotion running through her brain.</p><p> </p><p>Opening her mouth to launch into her explanation, she was suddenly stopped when the Doctor spoke before her. “Maybe it would be best to talk somewhere more privately?” he offered, turning around to unlock the door to his big blue box.</p><p> </p><p>With how long they’d already been standing there catching up, Ellie knew it was the sensible thing to do. It had grown late enough that it wouldn’t be long until people began leaving the dance in the church hall. No matter what, she couldn’t risk anyone learning the reasons behind the rift between her and Joel. And as much as she didn’t want to have the conversation, she knew she had to. And that’s why she followed the Doctor into his magical blue box.</p><p> </p><p>Despite the maelstrom of emotions churning around inside her chest, Ellie couldn’t help but feel awestruck as she poked her head inside, following him into the TARDIS. She and Joel had gotten a tiny glimpse of it when they had met the Doctor, but actually entering the impossible room and stepping through was like emerging into a different universe. It reminded her of a partially ruined book she’d managed to skim through once, something about a wardrobe.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s…dude…it’s fucking…” she started, fumbling to find the words, mouth and eyes wide open in wonder as she took in the vast space. “No fucking way!” she finally settled on. “You gotta be shitting me!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oi!” the Doctor screwed his face up in disgust at her foul choice of language, brandishing a finger at her in disapproval. “No swearing in my TARDIS!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not making a promise I can’t keep.” She crossed her arms defiantly, cocking her eyebrow in challenge, a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Ju-jus-just tone it down a bit, eh?” he conceded. Ellie could see on his face that he knew full well he’d have to accept her terms if he wanted her to explain.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s bigger on the inside,” Ellie finally uttered. Those five simple words immediately earned a big cheesy grin from the Doctor, as those he’d been waiting for those exact words. “So fucking cool,” she chuckled under her breath.</p><p> </p><p>Despite the exterior being a simple blue wooden box, roughly the size and shape of a telephone booth from decades past, the room inside was enormous. As Ellie looked around, she noted how the wall was split into individual sections, all curving upwards to meet at the ceiling. They were a dirty looking yellow, covered in a pattern of embedded hexagons.</p><p> </p><p>There were four structural supports around the room, all looking like something she’d seen in a book someplace about life on the seabed. ‘<em>Coral?’</em> she thought to herself, trying to recall what it was called. ‘<em>Yeah, that sounds right.</em>’</p><p> </p><p>As she walked further inside, dragging her fingers along the metal support rail guiding her in, her vision was filled with the dominant feature of the room. On two different levels, rings of metal grating surrounded a strange structure in the dead centre of the room.</p><p> </p><p>The structure looked like it took inspiration from the coral supports. If Ellie had to guess, she’d say it was a control panel. And she could only say that because it looked just as otherworldly and science fiction-like as some of the fantastical things she’d seen in her <em>Savage Starlight</em> comics.</p><p> </p><p>Except it wasn’t just one control panel. As she stepped forward and walked around the cylindrical structure, she noted that it was divided up into six distinctly different control panels, all with completely different…things on them. <em>Really, how could she describe them any other way?</em> There was a variety of switches and levers, along with an assortment of objects she didn’t have the slightest clue of what they were for. Each panel emitted a teal light, bathing her skin in the gentle glow. After walking all the way around, she spotted what looked to be a TV attached to the structure, post-it notes stuck on. She trailed her eyes up, seeing a clear, wide glass tube with thinner glass tubes inside. The same teal light shone from inside. Looking further up, the glass tube connected to three coral rings, which connected to the ceiling. Thick black cables hung across the room, drooping down from the centre to the walls.</p><p> </p><p>The whole room was a bizarre sight. She spotted a metal catwalk at one side of the room with a ladder, as well as a strange looking couch near the console. She also noticed a hatstand next to the ramp that had given her entry.</p><p> </p><p>The dominant colour of the room was yellow, though the teal shining from the centre structure was a close second. It wasn’t an overbearing yellow though, bright enough to see that the room was full of warmth.</p><p> </p><p>And as if physical appearances wasn’t otherworldly enough, there was a gentle hum emanating from the central structure, reverberating around the space. Everything compounded into an aesthetic that Ellie could never have imagined even in her wildest dreams.</p><p> </p><p>A snap of fingers reverberated around the vast space. The doors slammed shut behind Ellie, causing her to jump out of her skin. In surprise, she instinctively whirled round with her switchblade drawn from where it always resided inside her pocket, even when she didn’t plan on leaving the safe haven of Jackson. As far as she was concerned, you could never be too careful.</p><p> </p><p>But there was nobody there, just closed doors.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, probably should have warned you about that,” the Doctor shot her an apologetic smile as she turned around.</p><p> </p><p>“No no, it’s just I wasn’t expecting…“ she trailed off, putting her switchblade back into her back pocket and reverting to a more relaxed stance. “You couldn’t have made it whistle-activated instead?” Her lips curled up into a teasing grin, fondly remembering their bonding moment five years ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Well I mean I could,” he cocked his head to the side and back again in a familiar gesture. “But then I’d have to be very careful about where I park. Can’t have you running off with my motor, can I?” he raised his eyebrows teasingly.</p><p> </p><p>Normally Ellie would have followed up with a witty retort. But at that moment she couldn’t manage more than a slight chuckle, too caught up in awe at the fantastical sight before her. She was like a kid in a space museum. Except for the fact that standing in a room that just so happened to be bigger on the inside than it was on the outside – not to mention that it was a fully functioning machine that could not only fucking travel throughout time and space, but parallel universes as well apparently – was even more unbelievable than astronauts going into space for no reason other than just because they could. Standing in that Wyoming museum three years ago, among the dusty yet pretty well-preserved exhibits of spacesuits and spaceship models, had filled her with giddy excitement. But this? This left her speechless - an extreme rarity for Ellie Williams.</p><p> </p><p>Almost in a trance, Ellie felt her body take her towards the central console, until she was so close she could reach out and tap the glass of the central column. And that’s exactly what she did.</p><p> </p><p>As if in response, a mechanical gurgle sounded from the column, causing Ellie to flinch back with stunned eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Now Ellie, don’t be rude,” the Doctor teased with a mock look of disapproval. “How’d you like it if you met someone and the first thing they did was poke you?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Ellie stared at him in disbelief. “Stop bullshitting me. There’s no way your spaceship is alive. You might as well tell me horses can fly.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well of course they can! Have you never heard of unicorns?” he answered with a serious look that didn’t make it clear if he was being genuine or just fucking with her. It was even harder to tell what was real when standing inside a bigger on the inside spaceship from a parallel universe.</p><p> </p><p>“Uni-what?”</p><p> </p><p>Purposefully neglecting to elaborate, he went back to explaining the living status of his spaceship. “Well, the TARDIS isn’t alive in the exact same way we are. It’s not like she nips out to dance and kiss a pretty girl or anything,” he shot a cheeky grin to Ellie, her face instantly blushing scarlet at the teasing reference to the night’s events. <em>Was everyone out to embarrass her?</em> “But she is sentient. Just a bit…wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you just have a stroke?” Ellie asked facetiously at the bizarre string of words. Two of which she was pretty sure he’d just made up.</p><p> </p><p>“Ellie-“ he scoffed, looking like he had been about to respond with equal levity, when he suddenly groaned loudly with pain, grimacing and looking downwards, clutching his stomach.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor!” Ellie exclaimed, rushing towards him. She offered a helping hand to help steady him, which seemed to do the trick. “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah yeah,” he answered, a little too quickly. “Just indigestion, I’ll be fine.” Ellie could see the lie in his eyes, noticing the telltale look of someone desperately putting on a brave front. She should know, she’d pulled it off enough times on the <em>totally</em> rare occasions she’d injured herself on patrol. Recognising a look so familiar, she had no intention of calling him out on it.</p><p> </p><p>He looked healthy again as he looked back up, the grimace now gone completely. He folded his arms, leaning back against the console. “Ellie, I think now’s the time you tell me what went wrong between you and Joel.”</p><p> </p><p>If he had asked that question even five minutes ago, there’s no way she would have given him an entirely honest and open answer. Even when she was on the verge of giving him some sort of explanation before entering the TARDIS, she hadn’t been exactly sure of how much she would be willing to divulge. But being inside such a ridiculously unbelievable ship, taking in all its splendour and batshit insane reality, it had relaxed a part of Ellie she’d kept rigidly tense for far too long. For the first time in a very long time, she felt no need to keep anything hidden. She felt safe to spill her secrets, to get fresh eyes on a situation that perhaps she’d harboured alone without a second opinion for far too long. Had she been right to cut Joel out of her life? Did he deserve her cold and dismissive demeanour every time he’d tried to talk to her since? She supposed she wouldn’t know for sure if she’d treated him unfairly unless she talked to someone about it. And she had a feeling the only person in existence who might understand was the Doctor.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so you remember the cure I was supposed to deliver to the Fireflies? The one that didn’t work?” she fiddled awkwardly with her fingers as she waited for an answer, only to realise one wasn’t coming.</p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t meant it rhetorically, but as she waited with the Time Lord’s gaze fixed expectantly on her, Ellie realised that he wasn’t going to interject. He was giving her the space to explain fully, reserving any comments or judgement for when he had the full picture. Ellie wasn’t used to being given such patience. It was unnerving, but in a way felt like exactly what she needed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well it could have done. But there was one caveat – it would have killed me. So Joel did what he does best – he killed them all to keep me alive.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie sighed deeply in agitation, taking a pause. “Doctor, I’m still waiting for it to be my turn. People like Riley, Tess, Sam…they could have still been alive if there was a cure. If I had to die to make that happen, I would have let them do it.” Ellie was starting to feel herself coming undone, the oncoming emotions feeling like a tidal wave about to be unleashed and there was nothing she could do to stop it, even if she wanted to. “If it meant I could make sure no one had to go through that ever again, my life would have fucking mattered!” Ellie’s voice was now shaking with rage, clogged with emotion. Those last two words had been delivered deliberately drawn out, Ellie’s hand slicing through the air to drive the point home.</p><p> </p><p>Despite his look of concern at the frown on her face, the Doctor stayed silent. He relaxed his eyebrows slightly – a silent cue to urge her onwards.</p><p> </p><p>“But instead of coming clean with me, Joel told me some bullshit story about how I’m not alone in the whole goddamn fucking world, I wasn’t needed anymore.” Fist shaking at her side, Ellie couldn’t stop herself from clenching her teeth. “I knew something felt off right from the start.” She shook her head bitterly and let out a breathy chuckle without a single trace of humour in it.</p><p> </p><p>“It took me a few years, but I realised that it didn’t add up. Especially when Joel would shut me out every single time I brought it up,” she scoffed sardonically. “So I went back to the hospital on my own, so I could piece it together and find out what <em>really</em> happened. When I found out enough and finally got him to tell me the rest…” Ellie paused, tears of anger brimming in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>After a few seconds to compose herself, Ellie continued telling her story. “I told him we were done. Doctor, all of those dead Fireflies…they were killed…for me. Joel made a choice that wasn’t his to make, because he was too much of a selfish asshole to ask me what I want. And now them, along with everyone who helped us get there…they all died for nothing.” Ellie finished her story, looking down at her shoes, to avoid showing the tears she knew she couldn’t stop. The dam was breaking, and there was nothing to do now but let it out.</p><p> </p><p>It was a far more sombre Ellie who finally gained the courage to look back up again, having gotten herself back under control a couple of minutes later. In a way, she felt like some of the burden had been lifted off her shoulders, finally getting the chance to vent her inner rage and hurt to someone other than her own mind. She hadn’t realised just how badly she’d needed to speak to someone until she had. To his credit, the Doctor had simply stood and waited patiently, understanding that Ellie needed to weather the storm on her own. His kind eyes sparkled with understanding, a thin line of a sympathetic smile across his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me ask you this Ellie,” he started slowly, a cautious edge to his tone. “Did the Fireflies ask you if you wanted to give your life for the cure?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wha-“ Ellie breathed.</p><p> </p><p>To say she was shocked was an understatement. She had expected the Doctor to be fully on her side, to outright condemn Joel for his massacre of the Fireflies. He’d shown himself to be an unapologetic pacifist five years ago, refusing to use weapons and only begrudgingly accepting the fight against infected when he realised there wasn’t anything remotely human left of them. But for the first words out of his mouth to be a question that implied support for Joel’s decision…she hadn’t been prepared for that.</p><p> </p><p>She blinked and shook her head. “No, they didn’t. I was unconscious the whole time.” Her eyebrows furrowed accusingly. “Wait a minute, don’t tell me you fucking think Joel did the right thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“No of course not, I’m not saying that,” the Doctor shook his head, eyes now burning with anger. Not at Ellie, but at Joel’s decision. “What Joel did was wrong. Just wrong.” The disgusted scowl that had overtaken him slowly evaporated. “But the Fireflies weren’t any better with what they were going to do.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?” Ellie demanded angrily, in disbelief. “How can you say that when he’s the one who shot up the whole goddamn hospital, when they were trying to make a cure to save <em>everyone</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ellie,” the Doctor said softly, in a tone that sounded suspiciously like he was pitying her naivety. And that made Ellie’s blood boil. “They were going to kill you: an innocent child. Without consent, that’s murder!” His tone rose with fury, an emotion Ellie was feeling in spades right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Giving my life would have saved thousands!” Ellie shouted, despite the fact they were standing only a few feet apart. “Whether I agreed to it or not, it would have made a fucking difference!”</p><p> </p><p>“If they lived because of that, then their lives would be meaningless!” the Doctor spat with a harsh hiss to his voice. His brows were raised, eyes wide and burning with the intensity of a thousand suns.</p><p> </p><p>A cloud of tense energy filled the space between them, the air almost crackling with pressure. The strain of both trying to keep their emotions in check was palpable. The Doctor was quick to calm down, making it clear that his anger was directed at the Fireflies rather than Ellie herself.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, if you wanted to sacrifice yourself to save the world, that’s a noble choice. But that’s what it should have been: a choice. Yours. And only yours to make. But they didn’t even give you the choice. So I’m going to ask you: does that make them any better than Joel?”</p><p> </p><p>The weight of the Doctor’s argument hit Ellie like a ton of bricks. She’d never thought about it that way before. She supposed if she was trying to think fairly, there was truth to the Doctor’s words. The Fireflies were just as selfish, whoever made the decision just as big of an asshole as Joel. After a few seconds, she sighed and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose not. But Doctor, I’m immune for a reason. If I had to die to give the cure, my life would have meant something.”</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor’s eyes were brimming with sadness, eyebrows raised pityingly. “Oh Ellie, your life already means something,” he stately matter-of-factly, his voice tinged with melancholy. “Is that all you think you are? A walking vaccine?” Ellie shrugged her shoulders noncommittedly. “Because let me tell you something, you’re so much more than that. That girl I met five years ago, she was so full of life. Where did she go, eh?”</p><p> </p><p>He took a step closer, waiting until Ellie’s eyes were locked onto his. “I’ll tell you where she went. Right here.” He gestured towards her. “Dancing with and kissing someone you care about, that doesn’t seem to me like you’re ready to give your life up. And if you had, you never would have gotten here to do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I can’t condone Joel’s slaughter. But at the same time, I can’t blame him for wanting to keep you safe. If you care for someone, and I mean <em>really</em> care for them, you’ll tear the world apart if it keeps them safe. And that’s what he did. Even if you don’t believe it yourself, Joel clearly cared about you so much that he thought you were worth saving. Don’t throw that away Ellie.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie crinkled her features in disgust, her mouth curling into a sneer. “So what? You’re telling me I should go over there, give that old fucker a hug and tell him I’m okay with him throwing away the only cure? That I’m okay with him wiping out the Fireflies in my name? Because if you think I’m about to do any of that, then you’re going to be very fucking disappointed,” she finished bitterly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not telling you that you have to do anything,” he clarified, remaining perfectly calm despite Ellie’s rising anger towards him. “What I am saying is that nobody really knows how long they’ve got. You could be bitten by infected, run over by a car, fried by a delta wave, have a satsuma dropped on your head from a few thousand feet.” When Ellie fixed him with a puzzled look at that last suggestion, he waved his hand dismissively. “Story for another time.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie opened her mouth to say something, when the words were torn from her throat with what she saw from the Doctor’s hand. It was glowing! Not subtle at all, waves of vividly yellow energy were radiating from it, dancing over the surface of his skin. It was accompanied by a high-pitched buzzing sound.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor, what the fuck is going on with your hand?” she exclaimed in shock, worry seeping into her voice. When he looked down and noticed, he quickly thrust the hand back into his overcoat pocket, the buzz muffling away. Ellie didn’t miss the agonised strain on his face, as though he was holding back a tidal wave of pain. As soon as he looked back up, he’d managed to put his façade of normality back up.</p><p> </p><p>“Point is,” he continued, behaving as though his hand hadn’t just been glowing yellow. “We could be gone tomorrow. What if, years down the line, you finally find it in yourself to  forgive Joel and have him back in your life, only for it to be too late? Do you really want to face the possibility of regret? I would urge you to give him another chance, before it’s too late.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie furrowed her brow suspiciously. “Wait, where is this coming from? What do you know? Is something going to happen to him?”</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor’s eyes widened in alarm. “No, ‘course not! For all I know, Joel could live a long and happy life. I’m just saying that life can be unpredictable. Some days its fish and chips and other days its…” he screwed up his face in abject disgust, as though the vilest thing in entire universe was plaguing his mind, “pears.”</p><p> </p><p>“The fuck does that mean?” Ellie questioned with the barest hint of amusement seeping into her voice, feeling somewhat more at ease by his levity.</p><p> </p><p>“What I’m saying Ellie, is that I think Joel cares a lot for you. Even if what he did was wrong, he did it for the right reasons. From what I saw of him tonight, it’s clear that he’s not the same man I met those years ago. It looked to me like he needs you. And I think he could be there for you too, if you let him.”</p><p> </p><p>As hesitant as Ellie was to admit it, there was a nagging sense that she missed her old man. It had grown stronger in recent months, but the Doctor’s advice was the tipping point. She had never hated him. She could never hate him. But her resentment of him taking <em>her</em> life decisions into <em>his</em> hands had been too much, to the point where she couldn’t stand to look at him, much less be around and interact with him, despite the exceptionally rare occasions she’d been paired with him on patrol. They had been exceptionally quiet times, with Ellie always rushing to complete their route and return to Jackson.</p><p> </p><p>But the perpetually sad look on his face whenever she’d seen him around town, the now entirely grey outgrown mane, the refusal to argue back when she’d challenged him, all of that had chipped away at her bitterness, leading to a new source of guilt. One she’d tried to push down for so long. But she was tired, her own stubbornness eating away at her. And with the potential new romance blossoming between her and Dina, she was beginning to realise perhaps it was time to let go of the past.</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor had inspired her to do the unthinkable – she was now determined to speak to the man she had shunned for the past year.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Ellie said softly, nodding. “I’ll go speak to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good!” the Doctor beamed. “Molto bene!”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me, what the actual fuck?” Ellie chuckled with amusement.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Italian. For very good,” he explained.</p><p> </p><p>“Why wouldn’t you just say that in English?”</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor scoffed. “Blimey, what do they teach in schools these days?”</p><p> </p><p>“Clearly not something so fucking useless. Not exactly jetting off on vacation like in the old world, dude.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know you’d probably be less angry if you didn’t swear as much?” the Doctor jokingly chastised her with a wag of his finger, though there was an undercurrent of his very genuine dislike for her reliance on foul language.</p><p> </p><p>“I think that assessment is fucking bullshit,” Ellie grinned, crossing her arms smugly, a self-satisfied smirk stretching across her face.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay that’s it, you gotta go. You need Joel more than he needs you,” the Doctor teased, making a shooing motion towards the door, prompting a laugh from Ellie even as she made her way out of the blue box. One that he was pleased to hear.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie paused, one hand on the doorframe before turning back. “Seriously Doctor, it was good to see you again. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>She let that hang in the air, deliberately letting it go unsaid what exactly she was thanking him for. For listening to her? Being patient, despite her repeated outbursts? Telling her what she needed to hear and offering advice? Truthfully, Ellie wasn’t even sure herself. She’d make sense of it later, no doubt while jotting her thoughts down in her journal.</p><p> </p><p>“Anytime. And I shouldn’t think this will be the last time we see each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not coming to see Joel?” Ellie frowned, disappointment snaking through her voice. She thought he’d at least want to see the old man. Now faced with the prospect, she wasn’t sure she’d have the courage to face him alone.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, best be off. I’ve got something I can’t be late for.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie titled her head, shooting him a quizzical look. “Dude, you’ve got a fucking time machine!”</p><p> </p><p>“Some things even time won’t wait for,” he responded cryptically. At the same time he said that, Ellie heard the faintest sound of the same buzzing she’d heard earlier from his glowing hand emanate from where it remained deep in his pocket. “Even if I don’t want to go.”</p><p> </p><p>Those final words were delivered with a sad, wafer-thin smile, so much so that Ellie was tempted to call him out on it. But she had to respect his secretive, alien side, just like he’d shown her respect through his patience.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I’ll see you around, alien man.”</p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye, Ellie.”</p><p> </p><p>Ellie shot him a warm smile before stepping out of the TARDIS, closing the doors behind her. She took a few steps before hearing the familiar sound of the engines roaring into life. She turned to watch the spectacle of the blue box fading in and out of existence before it dematerialised entirely before her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>She chuckled after witnessing the phenomenon a second time. Taking a deep breath, she turned and began to walk in the direction of Joel’s house, preparing herself by running through what she was going to say, in her mind.</p><p> </p><p>Her feet carried her all the way to his gate, Ellie coming to a stop as she spotted him sat on the front porch, playing his guitar. She paused to watch him for a few moments, taking note the sadness in his eyes, the way his focus was entirely on the strings of his guitar rather than anywhere else, as though he couldn’t bear to not have something to concentrate on to keep his mind at ease. The Doctor’s words sounding in her mind gave her all the strength she needed to take a much-needed deep breath and continue moving forwards.</p><p> </p><p>As she trudged up the familiar snow-covered lawn, she knew she could never forgive him for what he had done those five years ago. But she would like to try.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for sticking to the end! So there we have it, the Doctor's pep talk gave Ellie the final push to rekindle her relationship with Joel. What did you think? Any particular lines that stuck out to you?</p><p>I did worry about whether I was writing self-indulgent, out-of-character nonsense, so please let me know if that was (or wasn't) the case.</p><p>Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to hear them! I would also appreciate you leaving kudos if you enjoyed. But comments are super useful to me, allowing me to further my ability by knowing exactly what I did right or wrong.</p><p>If you have any suggestions for further stories in this series, I'd love to hear those too.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed reading! You can catch me on Tumblr under the same username.</p><p>Stay safe! :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What did you think? Was it an acceptable adaptation of the cutscene? Did everything feel in place? Was there anything I neglected? What were your favourite bits? Feel free to yell at me in the comments, whether positive or negative. </p><p>So, looks like the Doctor is back in the TLOU universe! (Unless he's actually Ellie's drunken hallucination, lol). Why do we think he's come back? </p><p>Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider leaving kudos and writing a comment. I always appreciate feedback, no matter how brief or negative (provided it's constructive).</p><p>If you'd like to contact me on social media, you can find me on Twitter or Tumblr @ahunter8056.</p><p>Until next time! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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